I have good news! I have medical clearance from my doctor! Now all that stands between me and Spain is a visa and miles of ocean :) My arm is healing well, I have more of a hairline fracture now. My wounds have healed together and are scarring. The scars are deep and purple. At first I wasn't bothered by them, being so thankful just to be alive. But now, I can see some people look at me differently, like I have a defect. I do my best to cover them up for the most part, just so that others don't have to see about them and wonder, or some just think they're gross. I have a couple options to take care of them, one is microdermabrasion, the second is plastic surgery, and the third is a second and very expensive ointment. I'm going to start using the ointment tomorrow, and see how well it takes care of them. However, part of me wants to keep the scars, so that I can make some people uncomfortable. Here in the States especially, we don't like to feel uncomfortable, especially when it comes to dealing with or encountering other people's sufferings. We like to remain naive in a world that is perfect enough for us. But my scars are one of sadness. They are one of some suffering. Most importantly they're a reminder. They remind me to be thankful, and to never be short of putting full trust in the Lord. They remind me that he saved my life, and I am spared to carry out a command to share his Love with the World. They don't make me sad, at all. I hate that it makes other people sad, or uncomfortable. Hopefully these scars will open doors to a conversation about a loving Savior.
"Therefore, since we have been justified through our faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in that which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Your prayers are so important to me! Please let me know if you are one of those that are praying, or have read his blog. I love ya'll! If you have any prayer requests please tell me so I can be praying for you too!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Once again, He saved my life
It's been unbelievable. To be honest, I didn't really want to write about this. The accident was 2 weeks ago, and the memory of it is still fresh on my mind. I'm glad that Taryn has no memory of it. It'll be the hardest thing for me to recover from mentally and physically. However, I've never had so much faith and trust in the Father. I will tell you exactly what happened...
On Sunday the 22nd Taryn and I had gone to speak to a little country church of some of our fellow team members that are going to be joining us in Spain. We had about an hour travel back to the Learning Center where we'd been staying. Of course we had been having a good time, singing with Mariah Carry when a car in the right lane started to move over into me. I remember Taryn's gasp and I swerved over into the median and back, losing what control I had of the Trailblazer. This part I blacked-out for as we went head-on into a tree ready to flip as the roof was smashed in, and then tail spun the passenger side into more trees. I woke up when the car came to a halt finding myself thinking we had just had a small fender bender. Unaware of my own condition yet, I looked over at Taryn sitting on the edge of her seat, her upper body draped over her window. I said her name expecting her to sit up, but as she didn't I found myself panicking, screaming for her to wake up over and over again. I tried to move toward her to hold her up, but then realized I was completely immobilized. The dashboard was in the floor and the roof that was over my head was inches in front of my face. My arm was through where the windshield was and pinned between the roof and the radio. That elbow in my side and the console on my other, my diaphragm was being crushed leaving me no room to breath more than short quick breaths. I screamed, "Taryn, I can't move! I can't get to you, wake up!". Those were the worst moments of my life. I thought she was dead, and that I had killed her. I didn't know what to do with myself but scream and cry.
It seemed like 10 min had gone by before some on-lookers could get to us. I could hear them on the front side of the car talking about my arm, and how much I was bleeding out because I had an arterial vein that had been severed. Some were attending Taryn trying to get her to respond. After about 15 min of being trapped and screaming that I couldn't breath, I yelled at one man to try to lay back my seat to relieve some of the pressure on my diaphragm. Slowly and carefully he leaned the seat back allowing me to breath with more ease. Taryn woke up, but was not responding to any questions as she looked around very puzzled about what was going on. I had begun to grow faint from the blood loss, and a little chilled. The medical team arrived about that time. Taryn had begun talking, not making much sense, and asked if she was having a bad dream. I chose not to respond, hoping that she would stay calm. She recognized that her legs were hurting, which I was thankful to hear, and I told her "That's good! That means you can feel your legs." She responded with an ok. She tried several times to untrap her legs and they told her to quit trying, but she wasn't hearing them. I told her, "Taryn, stop trying to move them, let them help you!" she again responded with an ok and sat back. It was so reassuring to have her respond and listen to me. Finally, after nearly half an hour, they lifted the roof a couple inches allowing me to slowly pull my arm out so that they could wrap it in efforts to keep pressure on the bleeding. All this while I am going through shock. It seemed so unreal that this was really happening.
The fire department finally arrived and cut down some trees so that they would be able to get to Taryn's door. They cut it out with the jaws of life, but right before they pulled Taryn out I felt her squeeze my hand. With some pain, I was grateful to know that she was recognizing that I was next to her and the situation we were in. As they had her on the ground, I heard her respond saying that she had an older brother named Darren. I had some assurance before we were separated that she was fine. She was med-flighted away after about 35 min of being trapped. I heard Maurice (the firefighter with me) and others talking about cutting the roof off and the danger that I would be in for it. I was pushing for them not to; telling them I could walk out. Maurice told me, "If you could see the condition of the car, then you would know that you can't". They made a decision I was thankful for to just cut the doors and middle bar off. I had been stabilized with a neck brace as they laid and strapped me into a stretcher and took me to the ambulance to wait for the med flight. I was able to give the officer my father's phone number so he could be contacted and could call Taryn's parents and the IMB.
The med flight was loud and painful and they were pressing a sonogram into my broken ribs and checking my vitals. As I arrived in the hospital and they shredded my clothes to check out my injuries I felt the Lord's peace telling me everything was ok, and that Taryn was ok. The one thought that the Spirit kept bringing to my mind was, "God already knew this was going to happen, while you were here, and ready to serve him overseas. He isn't surprised, so trust him." Before getting cleaned up they took me to xrays where I had a conversation with a former preacher who opened up to me about being separated from his wife. I was able to share with him the power of the restoration God offers, and how much he loves him and more than anything would want to restore his relationship with his wife if he would be willing to turn from the destruction of his life that he was invested in. It wasn't my own words that I was speaking, but the words that I heard myself saying had come from the Spirit. After some IMB family had arrived my Mormon doctor got an earful of praise and talk about our Father from me (all this while he was pressure washing the glass out of my arms). He told me the xrays showed a fractured wrist. So all I walked away with were 21 stitches and broken wrist in the left arm, a scratched up and sprained left hand, a few broken ribs and the awful memory of what was nearly an hour of being trapped. Taryn has a broken bone in each shin, a broken jaw, tailbone, and a badly sprained ankle. We are healing.
I can't even begin to describe how the Spirit has been so evident and close to me during this time. There have been several more that have heard about the power by which God saved mine and Taryn's lives, inside and out. A few days after the accident I got to see pictures of the vehicle that we were in. Maybe I'll post one on here too. You'll see.... there's no possible reason that we should have survived. Except that several years ago when I was fifteen, and I heard the Lord call on me to GO, he promised me that I, and my family would be protected. He kept his promise, and with about a months delay, I'll be in Spain sharing this very story with people who need to hear how faithful my God is to the promises he makes. As I was in that med flight I remember thanking God that we were alive, and that he was keeping Taryn safe as I saw the sunset over the horizon. It was an absolutely beautiful day.
On Sunday the 22nd Taryn and I had gone to speak to a little country church of some of our fellow team members that are going to be joining us in Spain. We had about an hour travel back to the Learning Center where we'd been staying. Of course we had been having a good time, singing with Mariah Carry when a car in the right lane started to move over into me. I remember Taryn's gasp and I swerved over into the median and back, losing what control I had of the Trailblazer. This part I blacked-out for as we went head-on into a tree ready to flip as the roof was smashed in, and then tail spun the passenger side into more trees. I woke up when the car came to a halt finding myself thinking we had just had a small fender bender. Unaware of my own condition yet, I looked over at Taryn sitting on the edge of her seat, her upper body draped over her window. I said her name expecting her to sit up, but as she didn't I found myself panicking, screaming for her to wake up over and over again. I tried to move toward her to hold her up, but then realized I was completely immobilized. The dashboard was in the floor and the roof that was over my head was inches in front of my face. My arm was through where the windshield was and pinned between the roof and the radio. That elbow in my side and the console on my other, my diaphragm was being crushed leaving me no room to breath more than short quick breaths. I screamed, "Taryn, I can't move! I can't get to you, wake up!". Those were the worst moments of my life. I thought she was dead, and that I had killed her. I didn't know what to do with myself but scream and cry.
It seemed like 10 min had gone by before some on-lookers could get to us. I could hear them on the front side of the car talking about my arm, and how much I was bleeding out because I had an arterial vein that had been severed. Some were attending Taryn trying to get her to respond. After about 15 min of being trapped and screaming that I couldn't breath, I yelled at one man to try to lay back my seat to relieve some of the pressure on my diaphragm. Slowly and carefully he leaned the seat back allowing me to breath with more ease. Taryn woke up, but was not responding to any questions as she looked around very puzzled about what was going on. I had begun to grow faint from the blood loss, and a little chilled. The medical team arrived about that time. Taryn had begun talking, not making much sense, and asked if she was having a bad dream. I chose not to respond, hoping that she would stay calm. She recognized that her legs were hurting, which I was thankful to hear, and I told her "That's good! That means you can feel your legs." She responded with an ok. She tried several times to untrap her legs and they told her to quit trying, but she wasn't hearing them. I told her, "Taryn, stop trying to move them, let them help you!" she again responded with an ok and sat back. It was so reassuring to have her respond and listen to me. Finally, after nearly half an hour, they lifted the roof a couple inches allowing me to slowly pull my arm out so that they could wrap it in efforts to keep pressure on the bleeding. All this while I am going through shock. It seemed so unreal that this was really happening.
The fire department finally arrived and cut down some trees so that they would be able to get to Taryn's door. They cut it out with the jaws of life, but right before they pulled Taryn out I felt her squeeze my hand. With some pain, I was grateful to know that she was recognizing that I was next to her and the situation we were in. As they had her on the ground, I heard her respond saying that she had an older brother named Darren. I had some assurance before we were separated that she was fine. She was med-flighted away after about 35 min of being trapped. I heard Maurice (the firefighter with me) and others talking about cutting the roof off and the danger that I would be in for it. I was pushing for them not to; telling them I could walk out. Maurice told me, "If you could see the condition of the car, then you would know that you can't". They made a decision I was thankful for to just cut the doors and middle bar off. I had been stabilized with a neck brace as they laid and strapped me into a stretcher and took me to the ambulance to wait for the med flight. I was able to give the officer my father's phone number so he could be contacted and could call Taryn's parents and the IMB.
The med flight was loud and painful and they were pressing a sonogram into my broken ribs and checking my vitals. As I arrived in the hospital and they shredded my clothes to check out my injuries I felt the Lord's peace telling me everything was ok, and that Taryn was ok. The one thought that the Spirit kept bringing to my mind was, "God already knew this was going to happen, while you were here, and ready to serve him overseas. He isn't surprised, so trust him." Before getting cleaned up they took me to xrays where I had a conversation with a former preacher who opened up to me about being separated from his wife. I was able to share with him the power of the restoration God offers, and how much he loves him and more than anything would want to restore his relationship with his wife if he would be willing to turn from the destruction of his life that he was invested in. It wasn't my own words that I was speaking, but the words that I heard myself saying had come from the Spirit. After some IMB family had arrived my Mormon doctor got an earful of praise and talk about our Father from me (all this while he was pressure washing the glass out of my arms). He told me the xrays showed a fractured wrist. So all I walked away with were 21 stitches and broken wrist in the left arm, a scratched up and sprained left hand, a few broken ribs and the awful memory of what was nearly an hour of being trapped. Taryn has a broken bone in each shin, a broken jaw, tailbone, and a badly sprained ankle. We are healing.
I can't even begin to describe how the Spirit has been so evident and close to me during this time. There have been several more that have heard about the power by which God saved mine and Taryn's lives, inside and out. A few days after the accident I got to see pictures of the vehicle that we were in. Maybe I'll post one on here too. You'll see.... there's no possible reason that we should have survived. Except that several years ago when I was fifteen, and I heard the Lord call on me to GO, he promised me that I, and my family would be protected. He kept his promise, and with about a months delay, I'll be in Spain sharing this very story with people who need to hear how faithful my God is to the promises he makes. As I was in that med flight I remember thanking God that we were alive, and that he was keeping Taryn safe as I saw the sunset over the horizon. It was an absolutely beautiful day.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The SEC just got a pay raise
This weekend was a blast! Friday night at about 11 I and 3 other friends to take a road trip up to Penn State for the game against Indiana. I then stayed up for a couple more hours so that Crook (Chris and Brook) could have our victory in Spades (another story for another day). Our departure time the next morning was at 5:30am. Since I have lost my cell a few days ago, one of the guys obliged to bang on my window for a wake up call. We drove through D.C. and saw the Washington Monument and all the pretty colors of fall with great music, and even greater conversation. When we finally reached our destination 5 and a half hours later Landon (our driver) rolled down his window to pay for parking. It was clear that 'we weren't in Kansas' anymore. We hit a little bit of culture shock listening to the nasal sounds of the the Yankee tones, and what's worse, their lack of enthusiasm for football. (North 0 pts; South 100 pts) We bartered for our Penn State side 40 yard line tickets that we on about the 10th row and found our place and sat down. For the first half we weren't sure if we were at a football game at all with the way NO ONE was standing OR shouting! There were 4 turnovers in that half, and I think that the four SEC fans were more troubled and enthusiastic about the whole ordeal than the "real" PS fans! Lunch time had already passed, so we were all getting a little hungry and went to get some hot dogs and drinks at the concession. If you've ever been to a game you know that you are charged 3 to 4 times more than what it should be worth. We paid 2 dollars for a hot dog, and 3 dollars for a coke in a novelty cup! (North 1: South 100) Thinks picked up in the 3rd quarter with 3 touchdowns and only 1 turnover, and a winning score in the end. We came back to our car and grilled some brats and chatted while we watched backed up traffic leaving the stadium. About and hour later when we were getting ready to leave, we found that the car battery had died because we left the music running. So Landon went and found a family with jumper cables who helped us out. As we began talking to them (Jill and Chris), and they asked us questions about what we were doing and where we were from (I guess our accents stuck out like a sore thumb) the man put away his beer and cleaned up his language, haha and with enthusiasm showed us his Bible app on his blackberry. They were really nice folks and we got to share with them that we are preparing to go overseas to share the Gospel with people all over the world. It may have been apparent that the way we talked about God and his Word, and people that there was some disconnect from what Jill and Chris understood of God and the difference that is between religion and relationship. After a little while Chris was trying to say goodbye and Jill was wanting to talk more and ask questions. Much to say I think the Lord used that encounter to stir Jill's heart. It was a great day, with lots of laughs and new friendships.
Thank you for your prayers! Leave a comment or email me. I'd love to know what's going on in your life and how I can be praying for you!
Thank you for your prayers! Leave a comment or email me. I'd love to know what's going on in your life and how I can be praying for you!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The night before
I never thought packing would be this hard! It's difficult to make cutbacks, when you're used to having everything you want or need. I mean, twice in the last month I have cleaned out my closet and made donations, and I still have more clothes than I can pack. (And I even have vacuum bags!) It's been a surreal experience up to this point, and it's only just beginning to hit me...... I am moving... to live... in Spain for the next couple of years. I get so excited when I think about it! I can only imagine the things the Lord will use me for. Even then, I know he will exceed me expectations.
This all began when I was 15 and on a mission trip in Venezuela with the high school. I wasn't even suppose to go, except that my mom was the translator for our team. The very last night of worship I experience what I can only describe as complete and utter brokenness. I was on my knees crying.... no sobbing. Then I heard a voice, it was the Holy Spirit who said to me, "Why don't you ask Him what He wants." I answered, "*Ahem*, ok. God, what do you want?" I looked up with blurry vision, but saw one thing quite clearly..... the word NATIONS on the projector screen. "I want you to tell the nations about me" My sobbing had subsided for that moment and then shock hit me.... but looking back I would call it stupidity. I cried out "No! You don't want me! I'm not good enough. That's for people like my parents. I'll mess everything up." Very gently He comforted me, "It won't be you, it will be me. You are just my vessel". I lost the air my lungs were holding, I became frozen in fear. I was thinking of the family I would have, and those stories you hear about missionaries being kidnapped and tortured. I hadn't even said anything, but he heard my thoughts. "If I send you, I'll take care of you". I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace, knowing that I could trust Him. "ok" I said, and that was our agreement.... that I would be obedient, and I would let him have to controls.
Now here I am, and I can hardly believe I'm at this point in my life. Looking back at the life I've lived, I couldn't feel more humbled that God would choose to use me! But I'm thankful to have a more full understanding of grace and mercy and love. So this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life!
Let me know you've been here, leave a comment! I can use your prayers!
This all began when I was 15 and on a mission trip in Venezuela with the high school. I wasn't even suppose to go, except that my mom was the translator for our team. The very last night of worship I experience what I can only describe as complete and utter brokenness. I was on my knees crying.... no sobbing. Then I heard a voice, it was the Holy Spirit who said to me, "Why don't you ask Him what He wants." I answered, "*Ahem*, ok. God, what do you want?" I looked up with blurry vision, but saw one thing quite clearly..... the word NATIONS on the projector screen. "I want you to tell the nations about me" My sobbing had subsided for that moment and then shock hit me.... but looking back I would call it stupidity. I cried out "No! You don't want me! I'm not good enough. That's for people like my parents. I'll mess everything up." Very gently He comforted me, "It won't be you, it will be me. You are just my vessel". I lost the air my lungs were holding, I became frozen in fear. I was thinking of the family I would have, and those stories you hear about missionaries being kidnapped and tortured. I hadn't even said anything, but he heard my thoughts. "If I send you, I'll take care of you". I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace, knowing that I could trust Him. "ok" I said, and that was our agreement.... that I would be obedient, and I would let him have to controls.
Now here I am, and I can hardly believe I'm at this point in my life. Looking back at the life I've lived, I couldn't feel more humbled that God would choose to use me! But I'm thankful to have a more full understanding of grace and mercy and love. So this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life!
Let me know you've been here, leave a comment! I can use your prayers!
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